“A friend is one of the nicest things you can have and one of the best things you can be”- Winnie the Pooh
I have a question for all of you. When you have a rough day do you have somebody you can call when you have an exciting moment? Do you have somebody you can share it with and what does that look like for you? I am a very independent person and I am also very big introvert so for me I can go on for days just doing my thing not feeling like I need to connect with people. I found a number years ago that once I started having kids life gets real. Raising kids is the HARDEST thing you will ever do. Can I get an AMEN!
The first year I became a mom I feel like at the time I felt alone. Looking back I seriously tried to raise that girl by myself that first year. I was not prepared for the sleepless nights that still continue to this day, the inconsolable moments, the going back to school full time, working full time, raising an infant full time moments. Question for you all, have you ever heard of the term, “it takes a village to raise kids”. I never used to give this concept any thought. Especially being an independent, smart woman I thought I can do this, I don’t need any help. Who needs advice? Not I (or so I thought). If you didn’t know this already I have been on an 8-9 year journey that has transformed my life. I was not a follower of God nor did I have a relationship with him before that time frame. Over the last several years through growing my faith and attending many workshops, speakers, books that I’ve read and sermons I have come to know how helpful a village is to raising little children.
Lets be honest. Kids … are…. sinners. We all are. Kids are really just trying to figure this all out. Children are in the process of learning how to be human beings. The more I got connected over the last 8 years the more I realized how helpful having a village really has been. The statistics say your children should each have 5 people in their lives that can positively influence them. This may be a teacher, mentor, coach, friend of the family, aunt, uncle etc. Somebody other than mom and dad that are showing the same values as mom and dad but are not them.
I think there has been this loss of trust in recent years. People are less apt to trust a neighbor or friend or teacher which leaves the parents to do everything. Lets be clear, YOU as mom or dad are the most influential thing in your children’s lives. You need to keep being the main caregiver, go to, support for your child. Your child needs to hear this information from more than just you though. They need it to be information that is reinforced by others. If the values you want to instill in your children’s lives are only being taught to them by you it will not be as effective.
Over the years have continued to find resources whether it be books or little workshops or speakers to listen to or even just sermons at church articles you can read just little tidbits of information here or there because you can’t do this alone. God says in the Bible that this life is not meant for us to go through it alone . Listen it is hard to raise children they are manipulative they are mean they are genuine they are sinners right let’s just be real here for a second whether you have one or five it is the hardest job you’ll ever take on as a human being is being a parent. You can’t do this alone I always think of the concept of it can never hurt to have too much information.
Information is knowledge. I started hearing information on parenting here and there just in sermons I’ve heard and then at my child’s school with different speakers and then I would read a book here and there and then I would see an article. It’s not something that you have to do every month but even a couple times a year if you get some information it is so incredibly helpful, you can’t do this on your own. Lets put this into perspective to not only talk about raising children but just life in general God clearly states in the Bible that you can’t go through this life alone. You need people and not just your parents not just your siblings but you need people in your life. We’re all here and we’re all broken and we’re all trying to figure this out that’s really what it comes down to there are people out there for you and it doesn’t have to be a lot of people it can be a couple people.
So go find your people not only for you but to better equip you with information and support to get through this long journey we call life. “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them,” Matthew 18:20
Do not be afraid to be vulnerable and connect. For God wants you to connect with others and help others. You never know who your story could impact another person and whose story may impact you.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching, ” Hebrews 10: 24-25
